Gaining Confidence

When I was a teenager, I was so insecure about my body. I just felt like I looked awkward and weird. I had curves in places that I didn’t want. Why couldn’t my body just be like everyone else’s? I would wear oversized clothing to try to hide my shape and even wore jackets on high temperature days. I remember saying I wasn’t hot, but would be dying under that jacket. I never wanted to participate in gym because I felt like all of the boys would be looking at me. I even questioned when boys liked me in school. Do they really like me for me? I tried to convince my mom that I had to have surgery to get the shape I wanted. I spent many nights in high school crying to my sister about how I was feeling. She would always tell me that it was not a big deal.
Looking back, I don’t know what I was thinking. I think I made a bigger deal about it than everyone else did. I feel silly for wasting so much time and negative energy on this situation. Of course there were some boys that commented on my body, but had to learn that those weren’t the type of boys I was interested in anyway. It all really started with me learning to know that people genuinely liked me for being me. As I grew older, I felt more confident in who I was. It really wasn’t about my body, I was insecure in who I was. I really had to fall in love with myself first. This was me and I should feel good about who I was!

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